SEEK ASSISTANCE
Written by James Ward
For a long time, one of the few things I was really proud of in life was my Oystercard technique.
I was a master. Controlled, efficient, precise. I never caused any unnecessary delay to the people behind me. I knew just how long to keep the card in contact with the reader in order for it to register. I appreciated the subtle difference between “Ticket 1 soon expir” (two to three days left of a weekly Travelcard) and “Ticket 1 near expir” (weekly Travelcard expires tomorrow). I never fumbled around in the walk-up to the ticket barrier trying to find my Oyster; I had it in my hand, ready, prepared.
And yet, although I was always careful to make sure I had my card ready, I never wanted to be one of those over-cautious saps you see standing to one side, somewhere between the escalator and the barrier, making sure they have their ticket to hand before making their approach.
For me, the skill – the art – comes from ensuring every movement is perfectly timed so that without having to alter the pace of my steps, without having to rush, without panicking, I am able to produce my Oyster at the perfect moment. Not just that, but the whole exercise (approaching the barrier; removing my wallet with my left hand from the pocket in my jeans; flipping my wallet open and removing the Oyster with my right hand; swiping it on the reader, the RFID chip embedded in the card sending my details to some magical computer somewhere which then says “Yes, James Ward may pass through these gates” and orders the barrier to open, allowing me to continue without hesitation; as I then return the card to my wallet and my wallet to my pocket) must be done in one continuous, fluid, motion.
It is moments like this when I almost feel like time itself has slowed down, seconds expanded massively. I become aware of everything around me. The incredible distance still to travel. I don’t need to take out my Oystercard for another two or three steps, I can relax. There’s nothing to worry about, it’s all under control. I am calm. I am confident.
Except – SEEK ASSISTANCE
Recently, I’ve started getting “Seek Assistance” messages more and more. Almost fifty per cent of the time now. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m sure I haven’t changed my technique. Sometimes I wonder if I’d grown complacent. That the “Seek Assistance” message is a punishment for my hubris. But, it can’t be that. Although I take pride in my Oystercard skill, I am not cocky. I haven’t changed as a person, I am sure of this. It’s the card. It has to be the card. Maybe after a while, they get worn out, don’t work as effectively. It’s the card. It’s got to be.
It’s got to be.
I can at least take some comfort in the fact that when faced with a “Seek Assistance”, I know to step back from the barrier before trying again. You can’t just stay in your I-was-expecting-the-barrier-to-open position, that’s just asking for trouble.
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JAMES WARD: I LIKE BORING THINGS 
Always nice to know it’s not just me that does the “ticket out before barrier without breaking stride” thing. The delay on the gates normally means stopping and looking over it,waiting for it to open, and I die a little inside.
It’s sad when machines are slower than humans. I always feel that at the cash machine where it says “counting cash” for an age before dispensing the notes. You are a MACHINE, count FASTER.
I too have a technique and I pride myself on it also.
The thing that annoys me above all else, however, is the pad-dweller. Those people that hold their oyster card to the reader as they approach, then as the pass through and only lift up as they’ve actually gone all the way past the gates.
As soon as they lift up their card, the bloody light goes red and ruins my flow as I have to wait for it to go off, or suffer the ‘Seek Assistance’ message.
It’s ‘Touch in and Touch out’, not ‘Mash in, hold down of 30 seconds, out’.
There is also the problem when someone gets a Seek Assistance, but doesn’t notice, then gets through on your swipe, so then you are Seek Assistanced.
Otherwise known as salmon flipping!
Here is a list of the two digit codes that accompany the ‘Seek Assistance’ message: http://www.geofftech.co.uk/tube/codes.html
I hope I never get a 54. That would feel like the barriers were judging me.
That is incredible. Thank you.
This is all great, except you don’t need to take the oyster out of the wallet – just hold the whole thing against the pad and it will ding you through. This would simplify your unfumbling approach considerably, as it is the removal of the card from its wallet lip that is the fiddliest bit – in comparison whipping a wallet out of a pocket, satchel or clutch purse is a doddle. I do this all the time, when “in town”.
(The alternative is to keep the oyster in a back pocket, and then hop jauntily onto the pad for a second before bouncing off and through the barrier.)
its probably that your oyster card is dying. after a while they can stop working effectively. one time mine completely died, to the point where they couldn’t read any data off it at all. so they reimburse me the pay as you go money. i was much to honest and told them the correct amount. i should have said i had £200 on it.
you should go ask for new one.
For a while, I got Seek Assistance all the time and then I talked to one of those helpful guys (it’s never a girl) in blue coats and red stripes. He checked my card and told me I hadn’t touched out at Golders Green days before. I didn’t think Oyster had such a long memory, but apparently in my case, it did.
I do not mean to be rude, but only a complete amateur removes the Oyster card from the wallet. Perhaps this is why you’re getting the Bad Message.
Think on.
Look, if my enfeebled Oyster struggles to make its point to the reader even once removed from my wallet, what hope would it have still encased in leather and surrounded with bank cards, stamps, bits of paper and ten pound notes?
How about removing the chip and implanting it in your forearm for the ultimate in Oyster-efficiency?
I heard that somebody removed the chip from their Oyster and implanted it in a custom bracelet. Can’t seem to find anything on the web though, maybe it was a TfL myth…
According to the old faithful wiki “In 2008 a fashion caught on for removing the RFID chip from Oyster cards and attaching it to wrist watches and bracelets. This allowed commuters to pass through the gates by “swiping” their hand without the need to take out a proper card. Although the RFID chips were charged in the normal way and no fare evasion was involved, TfL disapproved of the practice and threatened to fine anyone not carrying a full, undamaged card.”