WHAT HAPPENED AT STATIONERY CLUB
Written by James Ward
Well, after not a great deal of anticipation and very little planning, Stationery Club happened. About twenty people turned up, which was about twenty more than I was expecting, so a good result I feel.
The pen up for discussion was the Stabilo Bionic Worker, and I wrote out some questions in my brand new exercise book in preparation:
The Stabilo Bionic Worker is a rollerball, and so the first question I asked was whether people prefer rollerballs to ballpoints, fountain pens or gel pens. This inspired some furious debate with various pen types being described as “scritchy”, which I am assured is a word. Biros were largely criticised, although alternative uses were suggested for them ranging from fake cigarettes for people trying to quit smoking to near-fatal weaponry.
Despite being available in “the four most commonly used colors”, Ryman seem to take a Henry Ford approach to stocking Bionic Workers, with people struggling to find one in any colour other than black. This is not a major problem for me, as I’ve mentioned before, my natural preference is for black ink:
It was also around this time that I switched to black ink. It seemed like a more logical partner for a sheet of white paper. Black and white. Like the words on this page, like the words in a newspaper, a book, pretty much any written material. It added authority to my words, words which needed authority as they had none of their own.
Stabilo claim that the orange rubber casing “brings an end to uniform grey and blue pens in the office”, however, people didn’t seem particularly keen on the colour:
Also, it was pointed out that orange is quite a common colour for pens. Both Bic and Staedtler use orange for their fine line ballpoint pens. A point illustrated by this classic TV advert from Portugal:
I tried singing the song in the pub, but I don’t think I really did it justice.
As a final word on the Bionic Worker, I asked the killer question:
And the verdict of the first ever stationery club was: NOT SURE.
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JAMES WARD: I LIKE BORING THINGS 
Brilliant!
I particularly like the video. It could become the club song!
Were you all fighting to be secretary?
I think that next time, the minutes will have to be taken by someone with actual training.
Bic Bic Bic, Bic Laranja!
My verdict on the Bionic Worker: It’ll do. The ink hasn’t smudged yet which is good for a left-handed user. Personally, I do prefer a good Biro.
It seems that Stationery Club attracts a disproportionate amount of left-handers.
Back in my younger days, I was nuts about stationery. Spent every last cent on new scented pens, new notebooks and generally got giddy over cutesy boxes of paperclips and erasers and smelly gluesticks… Here in OZ, we have Smiggle which cures my stationery in one colour addiction as an adult…
What is Smiggle?
Bic! Bic! Bicbicbic! Hurrah! Stationery Club was very very good, yah boo sucks to anyone who didn’t bother to go, although it might have been ludicrous with even more people. Hurry up and plan the next one, that’s what I say.
Thank you for coming! So glad you enjoyed it!
When is the next one, I am a stationary addict but had no idea this was happening. Bring it on!
I’m not sure when the next one will be, but it will definitely happen again at some point.
An amazing night! Though perhaps the cider helped with that.
Hurray! Yes, it was a good idea to have it in a pub, wasn’t it?
So a few more questions if I may. Was Staionery Club a success? Will it happen again and, if so, when and where? What else was discussed?
I’d say it was a success, people turned up and seemed to enjoy it, and that’s the main thing. It will definitely happen again, but not sure when or where yet. Other topics discussed included the long term future of Tipp-Ex (not looking good) and the possible revival of the quill.
Think that’d be a mistake should it be the end for the Tipp-Ex. The original correcting fluid drying up and dying off? Never surely. Wherever there is a need for pens, paper and ink – surely there will always be a need for the sticky white stuff. Can I make a request for the next Stationery Club please? Can you ask everyone to watch this clip and practice? Can any members of Stationery Club manage the pen-behind-the-ear trick?
Hi, i like to make it to the club, any directory?
Any single girl here?
fred_martins_attah@yahoo.com
l need a girl friend
Will there ever be another stationery club? I’d love to go. (I’m a single girl but it’s all about the stationery surely!)
Hopefully we’ll be doing some more soon.
Thanks and i am glad you are single…so have you been to America or Lithuania before?
HI, Fiona Long, how are u doing today, have you been to the stationary club before, what is your experience like?