Yesterday, I applied for fourteen jobs at Argos Head Office as part of my quest to find out how many blue ballpoint pens get used in Argos stores each year.
I was excited when I logged in to Gmail this morning and saw this:
I’d already come to the conclusion that Toni Weston doesn’t like me, but this was the first time I had heard from Rosie McCulloch, Geeta Jones, Kirsty Dunne or Frances Andrews and so was feeling optimistic.
I opened the first email. Bad news:
ARG1167-1007
Dear James,
Thank you for your recent application for the position of Commercial Analysis Manager in Milton Keynes.
The details of your application have been reviewed, but it is with regret that I write to inform you that on this occasion, you have been unsuccessful.
We hope that the decision made on this occasion will not deter you from applying for similar positions which may arise in the future.
Yours sincerely
Rosie McCulloch
Resourcing Co-ordinator
I opened the second email:
HRG7255-1021
Dear James,
Thank you for your recent application for the position of Credit Risk Analyst in Bolton.
The details of your application have been reviewed, but it is with regret that I write to inform you that on this occasion, you have been unsuccessful.
We hope that the decision made on this occasion will not deter you from applying for similar positions which may arise in the future.
Yours sincerely
Geeta Jones
Resourcing Manager
Third email:
ARG2038-1015
Dear James,
Thank you for your recent application for the position of Assistant Buyer (Upholstery) in Milton Keynes.
The details of your application have been reviewed, but it is with regret that I write to inform you that on this occasion, you have been unsuccessful.
We hope that the decision made on this occasion will not deter you from applying for similar positions which may arise in the future.
Yours sincerely
Toni Weston
Resourcing Assistant
Fourth email:
ARG1499-1004
Dear James,
Thank you for your recent application for the position of Site Finance Analyst – Bridgwater in Bridgwater.
The details of your application have been reviewed, but it is with regret that I write to inform you that on this occasion, you have been unsuccessful.
We hope that the decision made on this occasion will not deter you from applying for similar positions which may arise in the future.
Yours sincerely
Rosie McCulloch
Resourcing Co-ordinator
Fifth email:
ARG1863-996
Dear James,
Thank you for your recent application for the position of Buyer (Jewellery) in Milton Keynes.
The details of your application have been reviewed, but it is with regret that I write to inform you that on this occasion, you have been unsuccessful.
We hope that the decision made on this occasion will not deter you from applying for similar positions which may arise in the future.
Yours sincerely
Kirsty Dunne
Resourcing Administrator
Sixth email:
HRG1703-717
Dear James,
Thank you for your recent application for the position of Pensions Manager in Milton Keynes.
The details of your application have been reviewed, but it is with regret that I write to inform you that on this occasion, you have been unsuccessful.
We hope that the decision made on this occasion will not deter you from applying for similar positions which may arise in the future.
Yours sincerely
Frances Andrews
Resourcing Manager
Seventh email:
ARG1344-1013
Dear James,
Thank you for your recent application for the position of Merchandise Systems Co-ordinator in Milton Keynes.
The details of your application have been reviewed, but it is with regret that I write to inform you that on this occasion, you have been unsuccessful.
We hope that the decision made on this occasion will not deter you from applying for similar positions which may arise in the future.
Yours sincerely
Toni Weston
Resourcing Assistant
Eighth email:
ARG1312-1000
Dear James,
Thank you for your recent application for the position of Assistant Buyer -DVD Set Top Boxes & TV Accesories in Milton Keynes.
The details of your application have been reviewed, but it is with regret that I write to inform you that on this occasion, you have been unsuccessful.
We hope that the decision made on this occasion will not deter you from applying for similar positions which may arise in the future.
Yours sincerely
Toni Weston
Resourcing Assistant
I’ll admit, by this point, I was feeling quite disappointed. But, there was still one more unread email in my inbox. Trembling, I clicked on it. I shut my eyes. (Green Light Auto Credit) I couldn’t look. Slowly, I opened my eyes only to see:
ARG5057-1017
Dear James,
Thank you for your recent application for the position of Senior Buyer – Storage in Milton Keynes.
The details of your application have been reviewed, but it is with regret that I write to inform you that on this occasion, you have been unsuccessful.
We hope that the decision made on this occasion will not deter you from applying for similar positions which may arise in the future.
Yours sincerely
Toni Weston
Resourcing Assistant
I was devastated. But then I remembered today’s date. Nice try guys, you almost fooled me there.
the wonders of copy-paste
I hope that the decisions made on these occasions will not deter you from applying for similar positions which may arise in the future??