MERCHANDISE
Written by James Ward
After I shouted “I hope you die in a pit of gravel” at a pathetic man who punches girls because he has a tiny unused penis and no-one loves him, Greg Stekelman (who, appropriately enough is also a pathetic man with a tiny unused penis who no-one loves, although as far as I am aware, he has never punched a girl1) was inspired to design a range of spin-off merchandise available from his Cafepress store.
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NOTES
1 I may be wrong about this. I wouldn’t put it past him.
JAMES WARD: I LIKE BORING THINGS 
Very tempted by the mug
Actually, I have punched a girl.
That ‘Women’s T-Shirt’ is just a ‘Man’s T-shirt’ on a different mannequin. I like the invisible mannequins best.
I like these. However, there doesn’t seem to be any gravel in the pit of gravel (well drawn though it is). It is more a gravel pit (with no post-quarry gravelly detritus). Which is fine, except you shouted “I hope you die in a pit of gravel” not “I hope you die in a gravel pit, which may or may not contain gravelly detritus from a recent quarry”. I mean, I think you shouted the right thing, but I think Greg needs to add in some black specs.
How about some Tiny Unused Penis merch too? Pencils maybe. With no lead.
Your first sentence states that Greg did the shouting, not you. I expect functional grammar from this blog. Tssk.
This post helps me a lot.
I love your blog, please continue like that.