GRANDPA JOE
Written by James Ward
This morning, on my way to work, I listened to the soundtrack to Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory. Willy Wonka is one of my favourite films, it has without doubt, the greatest closing line of all time:
Wonka: Don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted.
Charlie: What happened?
Wonka: He lived happily ever after.
Oh, I should warn you, there are a few spoilers in this blog post, so if you haven’t been able to watch the film at some point during the forty years since it was released, you might want to look away.
Despite the fact that I love Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory, I hate Grandpa Joe. I hate him more than I’ve ever hated anyone1. At Boring 2010, during the prize giveaway, I explained why I hate Grandpa Joe. I was reminded about this earlier, when I saw this on Twitter:
I replied that I’d actually been listening to the Willy Wonka soundtrack this morning and that I was thinking of writing a blog post about it:
Richard replied saying that I should write a blog post about it as I completely changed his perception of Grandpa Joe and more people need to know the truth:
So I said OK, I would:
So here we are.
You might say it’s a bit harsh to hate a fictional old man, but you are wrong to say that. It’s entirely justified. Just look at how he reacts when Charlie finds the last golden ticket2:
This man has been bedridden for twenty years, and suddenly leaps out of bed when he hears the news. His first thought is not how wonderful this is for Charlie, but how he will personally benefit:
I never thought my life could be
Anything but catastrophe
But suddenly I begin to see
A bit of good luck for me
Because I’ve got a golden ticket
No, Grandpa Joe, you don’t have a golden ticket. Charlie has a golden ticket. It’s his, not yours (the closest he comes to acknowledging Charlie is when he says “It’s ours, Charlie”. “Ours”. What a selfish old man).
Later on, when they visit the factory, it is Grandpa Joe who persuades Charlie to steal some of the Fizzy Lifting Drink which almost kills the pair of them. And when Wonka quite rightly says that as a result of this, they are in breach of contract and therefore disqualified from receiving a lifetime’s supply of chocolate, he has the gall to claim Wonka is a crook and a cheat and a swindler (he even goes so far as to call Wonka an “inhuman monster”). He then swears revenge (“I’ll get even with him if it’s the last thing I do” he says). He tells to Charlie to give the Everlasting Gobstopper to Wonka’s rival, Slugworth – an act of industrial sabotage to satisfy his petty desire for revenge.
Fortunately, Charlie is not like his grandfather. Charlie has a conscience. He gives the gobstopper back to Wonka, and so shines a good deed in a weary world.
I’m currently reading The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson. In it, Ronson discusses the PCL-R, a checklist devised by Robert Hare, which is used to identify psychopathy. The twenty points on the checklist are as follows:
- Glib and Superficial Charm
- Grandiose Self-Worth
- Need for Stimulation or Proneness to Boredom
- Pathological Lying
- Conning and Manipulativeness
- Lack of Remorse or Guilt
- Shallow Affect
- Callousness and Lack of Empathy
- Parasitic Lifestyle
- Poor Behavioural Controls
- Promiscuous Sexual Behaviour
- Early Behavior Problems
- Lack of Realistic, Long-Term Goals
- Impulsivity
- Irresponsibility
- Failure to Accept Responsibility for Own Actions
- Many Short-Term Marital Relationships
- Juvenile Delinquency
- Revocation of Condition Release
- Criminal Versatility
Now, unlike Jon, I have not attended one of Hare’s training sessions and am not qualified to apply the test, therefore, I may be wrong in my view, but I think Grandpa Joe is definitely a psychopath.
The clues are all there. Look how he suddenly breaks into song (superficial charm). “Suddenly half the world is mine” he sings (grandiose sense of self-worth). He’s spent twenty years claiming to be bedridden, when he’s perfectly fit and healthy (pathological lying; conning and manipulative; parasitic lifestyle). He’s one of ten people in the entire world who are lucky enough to get a tour of Wonka’s factory, yet it’s still not exciting enough for him, he has to steal Fizzy Lifting Drink too (need for stimulation; impulsivity). After he steals the drink and breaches the contract he signed (irresponsibility) and Wonka refuses to give Charlie the prize, he lashes out at him (poor behavioural controls) and calls Wonka a crook and a cheat despite the fact it was his fault they got disqualified (failure to accept responsibility for his own actions). After stealing from Wonka, he encourages Charlie to engage in industrial sabotage by passing the gobstopper to Slugworth (criminal versatility). He sleeps in a bed with three other people (promiscuous sexual behaviour).
Grandpa Joe is a psychopath, he needs to be stopped.
EDIT:A few people have said that this blog post deals only with the character of Grandpa Joe as featured in the 1971 film rather than in the original text. This is because the film is much better than the book. The book is OK, but the film is one of the greatest things humanity has ever produced. Yes, Dahl had problems with the film, but that just means Dahl is wrong. Why should we value Dahl’s judgement above our own? Maybe Dahl didn’t like the film because it was better than his book? Also, I am not going to consider the Tim Burton version because it is of no artistic merit whatsoever.
——
NOTES
1 Actually, this is not true. I hate Brendan O’Neill more than I hate Grandpa Joe.
2 Embedding has been disabled by request for this clip. If you view it on Youtube, you’ll see that, in the comments, MrJonesyWales has made basically the same point as I’m making in this blog post:
does anyone else think grandpa joe is a complete douche?he sits around “sick” and makes a child and his mother work and than when a golden ticket suddenly appears hes up singing and dancing.than he gets charlie in trouble by influencing him to drink the fizzy lifting drink and than at the end when wonka discovers them grandpa says if slugworth wants a gobstopper hes got it.i love the character but he is a complete douche and its always bothered me people never really noticed it.
Although MrJonesyWales uses the word “douche” to describe Grandpa Joe. I don’t like the word “douche”, in fact I don’t think I’ve ever even used the word “douche”, except here, where I’ve used it three times. If you like people who repeatedly use the word “douche” without quotation marks, why not take a look at MrJonesyWales’ Youtube profile? You can subscribe to his channel as well if you love him that much.
JAMES WARD: I LIKE BORING THINGS 
I watched this silly film many years ago with a floor-full of little kids. When it finally ended, there was deep silence. Then a five-year old said, “COULD happen.” Best review EVER.
That’s fantastic.
Why do you hate Brendan O’Neill? Is it because he is an even more fraudulent and grasping and trouble making piece of shit?
Yes. Brendan O’Neill is WORSE than Grandpa Joe.
My Nan seems to think that if everyone in the world was forced to watch Charlie and The Chocolate Factory then AIDS, War, Immigrants and Crime would all go away, along with foreigners and swearing on television.
While I absolutely love this film, even as a small child I was not so confident in it’s abilities to heal all the world’s problems.
As a child I was acutely aware of the bizarre lifestyle Grandpa Joe leads.
“Why does he sleep in a bed with 3 other people?” – “because they’re poor.” said my Nan.
“Why is he suddenly able to stand up and run about?” – “Because he’s happy for Charlie.” said my Nan.
“Nan, why is he suddenly able to stand up and run about?” – No answer
“Nan, why is Grandpa Joe able to simultaneously sing an ad-hoc song and perform complex but ad-hoc dance moves?” – No answer
“Nan, why is Grandpa Joe telling Charlie to be naughty?” – No answer
“Nan, why is Grandpa Joe being nasty to Mr. Wonka despite being legally and morally indebted to him?” – No answer
Has it really taken him this long to realise that he has no right to smoke tobacco when “a loaf of bread looks like a banquet”?
Grandpa Joe ain’t got a golden ticket; Grandpa Joe should be in a straight-jacket. The entire family would be better off if he had died years ago.
Dick!
I’m not sure if I’d go quite as far as that, but I agree with the sentiment.
Fuck off, it’s Charlie’s.
Fucktard.
Actually this is one are where the book IS better than the film. In the book, it a sort of a magical transformation in Grandpa Joe when Charlie gets the tickets, and it works because the imagination fills in all the details (or better yet leaves them unfulled-in). But the film has to SHOW something happening, and whatever it shows is going to be unconvincing.
I am not convinced. If the explanation in the book is “it was magic”, I think there is a flaw in the narrative.
No, the point is that the book (because it’s a book) doesn’t HAVE to say “it was magic” (or conversely) “it was because Grandpa Joe was a selfish, lazy, manipulative jerk”. It’s a book. It only has to show what it chooses to show. But films are always showing SOMETHING.
So I wasn’t saying “the book is executed better than the film”, I was saying “it’s easier to do this in a way that works in a book than in a film, and the book benefits form that”.
You might enjoy this
http://www.saynotogrampajoe.com/
What do you think of the more recent adaption of Charlie & The Chocolate Factory’s Grandpa Joe?
Dahl often had truly repugnant adults to show what not to do when you grow up. Matilda’s parents seem much worse than Grandpa Joe to me.
as potentially psychopathic as Grandpa Jo may be – i think its Charlie who presents most problems – he has horribly quivery lips throughout the film.
Fantastic observations. I did a pretty similar (although significantly more expletive-ridden) post last week on why Disney’s Snow White is a terrible role model. And also a complete bitch: http://tinyurl.com/ddsnowwhite
Then why do lottery winners wind up broke and sad?
You’re absolutely right, of course. I’m kicking myself because I wrote a post recently about Morally Ambiguous Authority Figures in Musicals and clearly he should have been in there (http://loveandzombies.co.uk/2011/05/morally-ambiguous-figures-in-musicals/)
While I whole heartedly agree that Grandpa Joe is a “douche” and/or a psychopath, wasn’t the golden ticket chocolate bar bought with Grandpa Joe’s money? Therefore technically it IS his golden ticket. But of course if that’s the case this brings up the point of him stashing cash when to the whole family “a loaf of bread looks like a banquet”. I’m not even going to talk about how their English accents are all terrible in that film.
No. Charlie finds a coin in the gutter and uses that to buy the chocolate bar which has the golden ticket.
This made me laugh all day (not in a psychotic way) yesterday. Thank you. I also just did a giggle right now too.
I think your assessment of Grandpa Joe is misguided and deeply unjust.
Joe, riddled with bed sores and God knows what else, accompanies Charlie to a chocolate factory which is the centre of worldwide confectionery production during an uncertain era. He stands firmly by Charlie’s side as he faces the harsh limelight of the world’s media. Throughout the film, Joe is the only adult character who consistently echoes our misgivings about the machinations of the golden ticket-owning children and their largely ridiculous parents. Joe is us, we are Joe.
The look on his face as each child succumbs to their inevitable end, reflects our disgust at their greedy behaviour.
Grandpa Joe is the most well-rounded and human character in the film – because he is poor, humble and supportive of Charlie.
His song about having the golden ticket is a gleeful admission about seeing beyond the grim reality of his bed-ridden existence. It’s a blinding chance of doing something that will make his – and all the Bucket family’s – life briefly better.
He can’t be held to account for an entirely natural and positive reaction to Charlie’s unbelievable luck.
I would argue his over-reaction to Wonka’s apparent cruelty towards Charlie – is actually a masterstroke of psychological warfare. He confirms Wonka’s assessment of the Buckets as no-good serfs – thus temporarily distracting the chocolate magnate – as big-hearted Charlie returns the everlasting gobstopper and melts Wonka’s resolve.
No, you are wrong.
Oh
Must we all remember that this is a “movie.” I think Grandpa Joe acting like he did brings out the kid in him(which we all need to remember) and the irresponsibility of Gpa Joe shoes how RESPONSIBLE and trustworthy Charlie is. I think they created that character to show how responsible a child can be.
Very glad to see this. I too love the movie and hate Granpa Joe, for all the reasons you state.
I can remember thinking that “Look at the sun” was fairly bad advice on the part of a man old enough to know better.
But I had forgotten how bad Charlie’s singing is. For all his faults, Grandpa Joe can at least hold a note.
I do agree with your ultimate assessment, but Wonka is sort of a swindler. I assume the portions of the contract he claimed the children were in violation of were part of the fine print that wasn’t actually legible. All of these rules and prizes should have been printed on the back of the ticket, if not the thousands of wrappers themselves. Also, as children would likely not be able to legally sign this document, or claim the prizes without a legal guardian, then Grandpa Joe probably does have a claim here. Anyway, Charlie’s taxes on the Factory prize will kill all his grandparents, so it’s all moot for Asshole Joe.