JAMES WARD: I LIKE BORING THINGS

I often eat at Eat. My favourite item on the EAT menu is the Texan Chilli Hot Pot (“A warming beef chilli with smoky chipotle chilli, kidney beans & red peppers, served with wild rice & a coriander crème fraiche”). EAT rotate their menu which means that they don’t always have the Texan Chilli Hot Pot. They probably only have it one week in three. During those other weeks – the “bad times” as I call them – I have to choose something else. I often go for one of their salads, either the Simple Chicken Salad (“Potato Salad, Chargrilled Chicken Breast, Mixed Salad Leaves, Cucumber, Dijon Mustard Dressing, Cherry Tomatoes, Peas”) or the Simple Tuna Salad (“Skipjack Tuna And Potato Salad, Cos Lettuce, Free Range Egg, Cherry Tomatoes, Cucumber and Red Onion with a Dijon Mustard Dressing”). However, there is a slight problem with these salads. The potatoes are always slightly undercooked.

I’ve tweeted about the issue. This was back in September, when the United Kingdom looked set to tear itself apart:

I think it was possibly that tweet which made many supporters of the “Yes” campaign realise that there are more important issues than nationalism and instead voted to stay in the Union until the potato issue was resolved – you’ll note that it received one retweet and was favourited by three people, illustrating my influence on social media.

Here’s a more recent tweet on the subject:

That tweet didn’t have any historical impact. At least I don’t think it did, it’s too early to tell. No retweets though.

I bought a salad again today. Same issue:

2 favourites. Clearly this issue resonates with the public. I decided to email EAT:

Hello EAT,

I eat at EAT quite regularly and often buy your salads – usually the Simple Tuna Salad but sometimes the Simple Chicken Salad. I quite like your salads but find that the potatoes in those salads are often (always) undercooked. Is this a deliberate policy? Please could you give your potatoes an additional five minutes or so during the boiling process as I think this would make them nicer to eat.

All the best,

James

Shortly after, I received a reply from a nice woman named Sue:

I emailed Sue back:

Hi Sue,

Thanks for replying so quickly and also for your kind offer of a replacement salad. However, the issue was not with my specific salad today, this was not an isolated incident. It happens all the time. It’s consistent.

It makes me wonder if our attitudes to potatoes are incompatible. Could you expand on the details of your “strict specifications” re: boiled potatoes? It might be that what you consider to be “waxy and firm” is what I consider “undercooked” and that’s just how things are, in which case I’ll avoid the salads in future and choose something else, like the Texan Chilli Hot Pot (which is very good, by the way).

I’ve mentioned the potato issue to friends and they’ve also experienced the same thing, which makes me think that it’s not just me being fussy. It’s a real problem.

Kind regards,

James