JAMES WARD: I LIKE BORING THINGS

In my bedroom in my flat, there is a picture rail running around the walls. There are small metal hooks hanging from the rail. I hang my coat from the hook nearest the door. Every morning, I try lifting the coat off the hook without touching the hook and every morning, my coat catches on the hook and the hook falls off the rail. I then have to pick the hook up and put it back on the rail. As I put my coat on each morning, I look at my reflection in the mirror and think to myself “Every time I try, and every time I fail.” I’m thinking of becoming a motivational speaker.